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The Birds
Plot Thanks to her asshole boss, Mindy Belindy is somewhat forced to investigate Red and Blue's city, along with her pet pigeons, who will from now on be afraid of bees. Because goddammit, do bee stings hurt. Transcript (NEW YORK) (In the main lobby of a business company building, a group of people watch an elderly man wake up, the leader being the person up front.) ???: Rise and shine, Mr. Sulfur. (as the man’s vision becomes the less blurred) Rise…and shine. Sulfur: Huh? …Hydrogen? Hydrogen (leader): Hi. (turns to the rest of the group) Gentlemen. Why did Sulfur set the fire? (pulls out a chart with photos of every fanon villain) Which of these assholes took the elixir? (points to Sulfur) Why on Earth does he hate every number in between ten and twenty? These are all questions I could easily find the answer to by asking him; but instead I’m going to do (grabs Sulfur’s forehead) THIS! (No one speaks for a few moments.) Hydrogen: Oh-Okay. I-Is it working? I… (to the others) I swear I’ve practiced this plenty of times and I E''(Sulfur’s body starts to suck into his hand)'' Oh? Oh! There it is. (Sulfur screams as he gets suck in. As multiple men speak, the camera goes over to a young green woman sitting over on the other couch, watching something on TV.) Man #1: Oh, how horrible. Man #2: How does he do that? Man #3: Such power… Woman: (thinking) I wonder where my buttons went. They were my best and only collection… (Sulfur screams as the last of him gets sucked in. Only his suit is left behind on the couch.) Hydrogen: Ahh… (pulls out another chart) Okay let’s see… Form a secret society, already checked that. Pointlessly murder one of your own members in a display of power, (writes a check) check-a-roo. Just one more check for “Generic Evil Bingo”… (looks at the couch) Okay, can someone get rid of these clothes? They’re old and they smell like rat. (turns to the other couch) Oh. I know. Mindy! (as the woman turns her head towards him) You can have them. That way you won’t need any more clothes next Christmas. Mindy: Sir, I can’t wear that. Just look at it. Hydrogen: (examines the clothes) Hmm, you’re right. Those are old, fat, man clothes and you’re only two of those things. (One of the other members goes up to him.) Oxygen: Uhh, Hydrogen? Hydrogen: (stern) Hydro Pump! Oxygen: (corrects himself) Hydro Pump…did you figure out the location of the Hellspawn Elixir? Hydrogen: …Wha…? Oh, right. That. (turns to the other men) Gentlemen, now that Sulfur is a part of me, all that he knows, I know. (thinks) Ah, I see…it was taken by some douchebag from E''(a loud beep noise is heard as he says the location). ''(The men groan.) Hydrogen: Mindy, go find him. Characters on the TV: ♪It’s time for Ani—♪ (stops as the pause symbol is displayed on the screen) Mindy: (with the DVD remote in her hand) Sir, there are literally thousands of douchebags in (censored). How am I supposed to E Hydrogen: Mindy, I don’t pay you to bitch. Mindy: As far back as I can remember, you’ve never actually paid me before. Hydrogen: I could kill you without a thought for that gangster monologue reference. Mindy: I’ll go pack my things. (gets up from her couch) Man #4: Actually Hydro Pump, I heard that the mafia is starting to settle down after that fight two days ago. They won’t have anything scheduled for a while. Hydrogen: Ooh! Thanks for the friendly reminder, Lithium. In that case, I could always use one of your brothers, Mindy. Mindy: (stern) Sir, I don’t think any of my brothers would be able to handle this job. Joey would go around accusing everyone, Frankie won’t have any time to take care of Gary, and Gary…well, you know about his condition. Hydrogen: (irritated) Oh fine! Go! Gentlemen, say goodbye to Mindy since we may or may not see her again. Men: Goodbye, Mindy. Off-screen Voice: Goodbye, Mandy… (LOTS OF HOURS LATER) (Mindy is on the train, sitting in her booth as she smiles at her bird cage on the table, where three pigeons are sleeping inside of. She looks out the window.) Mindy: (sighs and takes out a photo of her and her wife) So much for that spring break, huh? (THE NEXT DAY) Red: Woo-hoo! (looking at the girls picnicking at the park) Look at all the ladies out here! Blue: Dude! Didn’t you hear me the first time? We’re gonna be late for that party Madelene invited us to. If we don’t make it, she’ll make Charlotte hunt our asses DOWN! Pink: And I think some of those girls are lesbians. Stacy: Whatever. I could go for some lesbo pleasure. Red: That’s the spirit, Stacy-baby! (Lord Tourettes skips to them out of nowhere, startling everyone.) Lord Tourettes: Haha! Let us forget about the pleasure of FUCKING, (as the background becomes floral) and take a deep SHIT as we all enjoy the pleasure of Spring! Blue: Easy for you to say, Lord Tourettes. (Behind them, a bus stops. On the other side, a few passengers walk out, including Mindy with her suitcase and birdcage. When the bus moves on, Mindy frowns and sighs.) Red: (jumps up behind her) Hey there, baby. Wanna join in a manage e trois? Mindy: What? Stacy: It means "threesome", bitch. Mindy: I have no interest. (walks on) Red: Aw come on! You just got here! Mindy: (as she continues walking) So? That doesn’t mean I’m asking for a threesome. (walks up to Blue) Excuse me. You seem normal. Do you know any inns or hotels nearby? Blue: Oh, uhhhh, no. But, there is an apartment complex I used to live i E Mindy: No. I need to stay at a hotel, motel, or inn. Staying at an apartment complex would seem like I’m moving and going to be living here, when I’m only going to be staying here for a short period of time. Red: Puh-lease! Everyone who moves here stays for a short period of time. Blue: (glares at Red) Mainly men, ‘cause somebody keeps taking their girlfriends and wives. Mindy: Well, I guess I’ll look for someplace myself. (starts to walk off) Blue: Uhh, no! Wait! (as she stops) Lemme see if there are any apartments up for rent. I mean, e-even if it’s for a while, I’m sure Mr. Dingleberry wouldn’t mind. Mindy: Well…I suppose it’ll do. Pink: (slightly pissed) I’m coming with you guys. Blue: Hey! I’m just helping her out! (Cuts to the three entering one empty apartment. Mindy sees that there is rotting food everywhere, as well as various insects flying around. Right next to the door, there is a skeleton with very few pieces of skin left.) Mindy: (gags) Did no one bother to clean these places? Blue: Unfortunately, no. (A few bees fly around the bird cage. The pigeons try flapping their wings to scare the bees away.) Mindy: Oh no… Blue: Oh crap. (looks at the skeleton) I forgot. The last person who lived here was a beekeeper. Pink: (sighs) Don’t worry. We’ll see if we could get Auburn to clean most of this up. Mindy: I-Is there at least one apartment that’s much cleaner?! Blue: Nnnope. Red: (appears behind them) Don’t worry, bitch. (walks over to the couch) Just make yourself at home. It’ll be fine. (takes a slice of pizza out from under the cushions) Mindy: Uhh, you know what? I think I’d like to look around town before settling in. Pink: I wouldn’t blame you. (Mindy leaves with her stuff, passing Blue and Auburn, who had just shown up with a vacuum cleaner.) Blue: (to Auburn) Oh thank God you’re her E Auburn: Hold on. (looking at Red as he’s eating the pizza from the couch) Let me just give him some time to clean the food off the walls. Blue: Aubur E Auburn: Ssh! Blue, I am trying to quietly prepare for the worst as soon as he’s done… (In the streets, Mindy looks for a better place to stay.) Mindy: Maybe that guy was wrong. There has got to be a hotel or somethin' around here someplace. (She looks at her pigeons flapping away the bees that are swarming around the cage.) Mindy: (passes by a man) (irritated) And the place better not have any freakin' bees swarming around! Man: (looking away from her) T҉he͡r͡e is̴ no e̛scapi͡nģ f̕r͏ơḿEth̡e̡ ͞bee̡s,͠ Min̸dý Belin̛dy.́E Mindy: (turns to him with shock) Ex-Excuse me, sir?! Man: (turns to face her, showing his dark, soulless eye) Th͡eҁEb̕ee̕s ar̕e ̶c҉óming.́ĘTh͞e b̶eès ar̸e̢ mul̷tip̨ly͟i͢n̵ǵ asҁȨw͢e spea͡ḱĘ Mindy: (looking around in panic) I-Is anyone else listenin' to this? Man: ̀T̀he ҉b̧e̡e̴śEw͜il̢l ̵şwar̀m th͢e c̸ity. ̨T͝he bée̕śE͞w҉illҁEoverpo͟wer̢ ͢úÉEa̶ll̴.́E͞T̷he ̀bees shāEl rul̵e t͡hāEw͘o͢rl͏d͡.͠ ́E Mindy: (annoyed) Anyone?! At all?! Man: Th͏e ͝b̧e͘e͟s E͏wórld́Ed̷omi͡na̧t́i͜on̶ ́w͝ill be ́E̕o ͠gr͘ea̡t̵, ̛t̵h̢a̷t ͢t͞h͢e aut̀h̸or o͏f̨ t̡h̴i͏śEstory w̛on’̕t even̡ me̶ǹti̢oǹ śom͘e̴thi̡n͝g̷ l̨įkè thíÉE̴e͞ver ̵ag̷a͞įn̵. Mindy: (pissed off) Whatever, jackass! (Mindy kicks him right up the chin, knocking him out.) Mindy: (picks up her suitcase and birdcage) What a weirdo… (walks off) Man: (gets up after she’s gone) Heheh. I love making my hosts do that. (Time lapse. Mindy walks into a building to speak with the person at the front desk.) Mindy: Excuse me? I’m kind of lost here. Do you know any hotels I can stay at? Man at Desk: Well, there is one place, but, I’m not sure if it would be okay to recommend it. Mindy: Really? Why not? Man at Desk: You see, it is a nice place and all. A lot of, uhh, outsiders stay there, including some Japanese skater or whatever. But, the thing is, sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not. Mindy: … (suddenly interested) What do you mean by that? Man at Desk: I mean it kinda disappears every now and then. Mindy: Disappears…? Man at Desk: Yeah. Like, no one ever gets to see it vanish. It’s there for a while, but later it’s just, y’know… Mindy: …Does it appear in just one lacation…? (LATER) (In a very small room, Mindy is writing down notes while talking to herself.) Mindy: While lookin Efor a place to stay, I happened to talk with someone who mentioned a hotel that disappears every now and then. I managed to find the place and it’ll be where I’m staying at for now. I know it sounds dangerous, but the man never mentioned anythin Eabout certain deaths occurring, so there’s a possibility that I’ll be safe. The reason this interested me is because this could lead to who took the Hellspawn Elixir. It has to be someone who’s currently stayin Ehere. The exact powers of the elixir are yet to be confirmed, but there is no doubt about it that it is somewhere in this city, and this hotel seems proof enough. If it isn’t, I dunno what to say. (Someone off-screen knocks on the door) Midnight Blaze: (still off-screen) ‘Scuse me! Are you done with the lame-ass monologue yet? There’s only one stall that isn’t out of order you know. Mindy: (sighs with irritation) I’ll be out in a sec. (Mindy gets up, flushes the toilet, and reaches for the camera as the screen cuts to static for a split second.) (Episode Ends) Trivia *This is Mindy's debut episode, as well as her boss, Hydrogen's debut. This is also the first time we hear about Mindy's brothers, Frankie, Joey, & Gary. *The first part of the episode takes place in New York. The organization Mindy works for is associated with a mafia. In Ladies' Halloween, Indigo mentions something about a New York mafia to Auburn. Poll What do you think about this episode? Bad (1/5) Not impressive (2/5) Ok (3/5) Cool (4/5) AWESOME! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:August Releases